1st Page Feedback Workshop (“friendly-fire-feedback”)

catfightWith Brenda Drake’s #Pitchwars less than two months away, and lets face it, who doesn’t want to be picked for Pitchwars right? I wanted to run a First-Page-Workshop.

Now, if you don’t know who Brenda Drake is, or what #Pitchwars is, go here: http://www.brenda-drake.com/pitch-wars/ & follow Brenda on Twitter https://twitter.com/brendadrake

#Pitchwars is all about Mentoring and Working with other People to help you polish your manuscript and then have it blazingly ready for the Agent Submission Round (in October 2014 this year) Brenda has just posted the MENTOR LIST here: http://www.brenda-drake.com/2014/06/pitch-wars-mentor-list

& here are the main date for #PitchWars:

August 17: Writers submit applications to mentors for Pitch WarsCatComputer2

August 17  –  September 1: Pitch Wars mentors review applications and choose a writer to mentor (along with one alternate).

September 2: Pitch War mentees are announced.

September 2 – October 31: Mentors work with their team.

Your submission will be judged on your pitch and your first chapter.  Now is also the time to go through the MENTORS and narrow down your top 4-6 because you can only SUBMIT to FOUR MENTORS – study each Mentor, make sure you know who you are pitching to and why – and if you happen to know any of the Mentor’s, which honestly, I’d be surprised if you didn’t, expect nothing other than to be treated fairly and honestly – because you will be – and do the same in return 🙂

96781-Anna-excited-gif-Imgur-Frozen-j9HvNow to the Work-Shop:

Back in March – 2014, Rhiann and I ran a Pitch-Workshop, for information and examples go here: https://nestpitch.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/post-it-forward/ Additionally I posted information on first lines/paragraphs here: https://nestpitch.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/first-lines-in-your-ms-this-might-help/ Both of these posts will offer information that I am sure you’ll find useful. I would also recommend you follow Rhiann (https://twitter.com/RhiannWynnNolet)

This workshop will deal with the first page(s), because no matter how awesome your pitch may be, if your first line, your first paragraph and your first chapter is not, trust me; there is no second chance or second chapter.

Here is an illustration (I’m using my own work here, which admittedly is still a WIP)

35-word pitch: With Morgause’ hit men after Artie, stripper Guinevere and Lance, a Catholic Priest tempted to break his Vows, help Artie re-create the Round-Table in 21st century Australia. Together, they’ll either destroy Morgause or each other.

Now here’s the thing, I’m pretty happy with this pitch, even if I know it needs tweaking to make it as strong as possible. However, if my first line, paragraph and page are killer awesome, then the above will likely get through. How many times have you seen a tweet go something like this: “Great pitch but the first page just didn’t draw me in…” That’s what we are talking about here, helping to see what is and is not drawing the reader in, and, after running NESTPITCH and (together with my team) reading some 200 pitches and first pages, I have a pretty good idea of what works. The great/funny thing is, on the whole, even though there were 16 of us involved in Nestpitch, we all pretty much agreed on the best and strongest pitches and opening pages. 400sw74223

Now, as I said above, this is still a WIP and I’m tweaking this (a lot) but I wanted to get this “party-started” by putting my work out there. As for this Work-shop, what I’m offering is “friendly-fire-feedback” – in other words, if you’re up for honest feedback, then this could be an opportunity to sharpen your work before August.

FYI – the 55 of you lucky enough to be selected for Brenda Drakes 1st page workshop: http://www.brenda-drake.com/2014/06/winners-july-query-1st-page-workshop/ congrats! If not… here’s a second chance at some feedback.

This is how it’s going to work. From July 2nd – July 3rd  Melbourne Australia Time, if your manuscript is Young Adult (YA), New Adult (NA) or Adult (A) and if it is NOT pure horror or pure romance (I don’t mind mixed genres), please send me your first 500-words.

Please no MG or PBs

The first 15 to be sent through will receive (written) feedback from me. I will also be selecting 3 examples, (I will aim for one each of YA/NA/Adult, however it will depend on what I receive) to feature on the blog, with my feedback. In other words, if you send through your 500-words you are agreeing to allow your work to be featured on the Nestpitch blog and to have comments/feedback from others.

cute-dog-smile-ears-girl-funnySubmission Open: 7am 2nd July (Melb Australia time) which is 9pm 1st July USA New York Time

Submissions Close: *Noon 3rd July (Melb Australia time) which is 2am 3rd July USA New York Time

*Only the first 15 will be accepted please read below.

  • Once I reach 15- I will close off the submissions.
  • I will endeavour to reply to all by the weekend of July 12/13th
  • I will post the three selected, one at a time on these dates:
    • Monday 14th July
    • Monday 21st July
    • Monday 28th July

The authors of the three selected WILL BE NOTIFIED in advance

  • Each posting will have my NOTES included and will be available for general comments.
  • Feedback will allow you to have enough time to strengthen your submission before August 18th
  • While I cannot “make” people participate, it would be greatly appreciated if people commented also.
  • Comments will be moderated by me, so play nice!
  • Please email your first 500-words (or to the end of the sentence closest to 500 words) to nestpitch (at) outlook (dot) com where at=@ & dot =.

No spaces

A few Rules – Please email as per below & in the body of the email 

Please copy and paste the following: The below work is my original work and I have the legal right to it. By submitting the below, I agree to allow my work to be published on the NestPitch blog and to be open for general public critiqueabstract_colorful_gif_wallpaper

 Name: (your Name /Your Pen Name) – Note I will not be posting anyone’s name it’s for my purposes only

Category/Genre: (e.g. YA Romance)

Word Count: (to nearest 1000)

First 500-words (or to the end of the sentence if the 500th word falls in the middle of a sentence)

***If I have time, I may run another 35-Word Pitch Workshop the first or second week of August – I’ll let everyone know.

Please help SPREAD THE WORD by re-tweeting 🙂


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